In some ways above are just normal topics like we talk about airplanes, or Mughals or Cricket or Pasta.
But mostly we do not talk about Sexuality and Sexual Abuse. Why?
These two topics are NO different - they're still all about US
They are about UnLearning, Feelings, Images, Empowerment, Habits of Mind, Behaviour, Creativity, Multiple Intelligences, Leadership, Reflection, Co-creation, Facilitation and yes, yes, yes, yes, Beliefs..
Think about these questions:
What are your views about sexuality?
What are some of your beliefs? (make a long list)
What kind of emotions do you go through when faced with topics related to sexuality? How do you deal with it?
What are your views about teaching children about sexuality?
What is the difference between sex-education and preparing children about sexuality?
What would you like the children to be prepared about? - draw up a wish list.
What do you do when your or any child asks an "embarrassing question" related to sexuality? - think of some of your examples.
Add to this list all the questions you have about sexuality, children, sex education etc.
How have you Prepared children Against (sexual) abuse
Make a list of all the things you have done to prepare your children.
What else can you or any parent do?
Finally do this quick survey of your current beliefs about Child Sexual Abuse
True or False (according to you).. your beliefs...
1) Chances are my Child will not get abused.
2) My child is still so young, I need not worry about sexual abuse.
3) Girls get abused, Boys don’t.
4) Only bad people from some sections of society abuse
5) My child is safe with my friends and my relatives.
6) My child will tell me if something like this happens.
7) Only men do sexual abuse, with women my child is safe.
8) I can prevent abuse as I am very vigilant.
9) Chances of abuse are less since my child will do what I tell him or her to do / not do.
10) My child will automatically make healthy sexual choices.
11) I understand sexuality quite comprehensively (and I can give that understanding to my child).
Two examples ...
1) Child is watching an unacceptable video (with sexually explicit content)
Connect, “You seem to be curious about sexuality” “These kind of videos can be exciting to watch”
Clarify, “What all did you like in this video? What was interesting? What questions do you have? What other videos would you like to see?” Etc
Expand, “Would you like to know why people do these kinds of things? What all is exciting to me in my life, let me think? Do you know what is prostitution or that people are paid for acting in this kind of videos”. Etc
2) You all are going to a family wedding, and with so many people around, you want your child to be sexually safe
Connect, “You are excited about the marriage function”. “You might be excited or nervous about meeting so many relatives there”
Clarify, “Who all are you looking forward to meeting? Who all do you wish not to meet? What all feelings come to you when you think of the people in marriage” Which actions of relatives, in the past, you have not liked. What are you wishing they will do / not do with you.” etc.
Expand, “Let’s think in what ways we can engage with relatives. What all we could do with them, learn from them. What all we could teach. What kind of actions you think people can do which you will not like to happen. What would you do if somebody does those. Etc
Notice in most of the above examples, we are listening, actively.
We are neither preaching nor patronising them.
(As posted on Jagriti 59th batch Whatsapp group)